Sometimes I Think I Am Marrying My Father

Let me preface this entry by saying that I love my Dad. And I love Wil. They are both sweet, kind, often quiet but strong men. This entry is just some ways that in the last 6 weeks I have noticed that Wil and my Dad sometimes act in similar ways in certain situations. The situations are sometimes annoying to me at the time, but later they are potentially funny to hear as stories. Hence this post. And, before I get any comments, I know that I am a lot like my mother!

Scenario #1 Letting a near stranger in to the apartment when I am half-naked.

The second day that I was in the Dominican Republic, Wil took me to visit his family at their house. We also visited his Aunt Morena, who lives nearby to his parents. While there I met a friend of Morena´s and Wil´s named Rafa. She is a fun lady and is sort of like a sister to Wil. They tease each other a lot!

A little less than a week later, Wil and I were at our apartment. I was in the kitchen, near the refrigerator. I was wearing underwear, but my shorts and t-shirt were on the chair next to me. I heard someone say, "saludo" the common greeting here when people are at the door. Wil went to the door. Our door was open, but the iron lattice security door was locked with a padlock. I asked him who was there. He just started unlocking the padlock. I asked him to tell them just a minute. They were also talking to him. Maybe he didn´t hear me. I said louder, "don´t open the door!" Too late. I had my shorts on and my shirt was near my head. I hurriedly put it on as he walked in with Rafa. I sat in the chair. I know that culturally things are different, but still, for me it was embarrassing to have a near stranger see me. Rafa tried to make a joke, saying that she would take off her clothes. Wil didn´t seem to really get it later when we talked about it. This reminded me of many times when my dad will answer the door at our house and rather than inviting the guest in to sit down in the front room, he will bring them right on in to the other rooms or all the way through the house til he finds mom.

Scenario #2-Inviting all of the in-laws to dinner without talking about it first.

About a week and 1/2 ago, on Thursday, Wil and I went to his parent´s house to do laundry and visit with them. We had considered inviting them to dinner the week before, but had decided against it since his aunt was still recovering from her surgery and we didn´t have everything in order yet at our place. We had planned to go back to Zona Colonial on Friday to see the museums that were closed on our previous trip there.

We were sitting there with his family and I heard him invite them in Spanish to come to dinner the next day. A little while later when we were out doing more laundry, I asked him if he just invited them to dinner the next day. He said yeah and then asked if it was alright. What was I going to say? That day we had already both been scolded by his aunt and mom because they hadn´t seen Wil in eight days. Of course I said it was fine. We just had to change our plans and get the apartment ready.

On our way home that night we talked about the menu, Wil and I had already planned on me cooking for his family when they came to visit. I wanted to bake a cake, but we had never used the oven, only the stove in the apartment. We needed to get fuel for the stove. We needed to order more drinking water. We needed to go grocery shopping. We needed to finish painting and hanging our art and pictures.

We got home at about 10 that night and started working on the art. We stayed up pretty late, and Wil wanted to sleep until 12 noon. I asked when his family would arrive. He said it would be after 2 pm. I told him we couldn´t sleep until 12, but I would do my best not to wake him up. I´m usually awake before Wil. So we painted!

Wil wanted me to paint something that would coordinate with the other art in the main room. He chose the colors and told me to make it similar to our welcome sign pictured in a previous post.
Yes, we also got cushions for the furniture the week before.
For the bedroom, he drew out what he wanted me to paint.

Above is Wil´s creation for the bathroom. I really like it, he thinks it looks like a child did it. I think that´s kind of what mine looks like from the bedroom...

So, we went to bed with the understanding that we would get up and work really hard to get ready for his family. Wil said they would come after 2, which I thought meant maybe even later since we are in a more relaxed place as far as time is concerned. We planned how we were going to get the propane for the stove, go shopping, etc.

At about 9:30 a.m. I woke up because the electricity had went off. Hence, the fan blowing on my face had went off. I was almost immediately hot. I tried not to bother Wil, so I went into the main room and got down on the cool tile floor. That helped a little.

At about 11 Wil was awake and had talked to his aunt about getting fuel for the stove. A friend of hers was going to help us. I had to walk to him before 12 and deliver a message from Wil. Wil also said that his family was getting ready. I asked if that meant they were already on their way, he said no. We quickly hung the paintings. I then delivered the message to the man about the fuel. He came to the apartment with me and took the old tank.

At this point it was about 11:45. Wil was happily hanging photos that he had selected to put up in the bedroom. The bed was unmade. The water had gone off the night before, so the dishes were piled up in the kitchen. I had just started running some water in the sink. I was again shirtless, but I did have shorts on. Unfortunately, since I wasn´t expecting anyone for a couple of hours, I had not carried the t-shirt to the kitchen. I hear, "saludo, saludo, saludo." Here we go again! I literally ran to the bedroom as Wil went to unlock the door. His mom has now seen me run to the bedroom, half dressed. His mom and his three youngest brothers had arrived. I was shocked and surprised. He told me everything was fine. I was not impressed with him. We made the bed. Wil told me that his mom wanted to help clean the apartment. I guess that is common here. So, she had come early to help clean. I tried to clean up some of the clothes and things, including all of the still drying underwear from all of the chair backs. Charming! And, with the increase in bodies in the apartment, I was only getting hotter, temperature wise...

Wil´s mom warmed up some leftovers for the boys. Meal #1. The man delivered the tank of fuel. Wil and I went to the store to get the groceries for the meal. Wil told me that while we were gone, his mom was going to do the dishes and cook moro and the meat from the freezer. Then, I could just relax and cook when we got back.

We got back to the apartment about 1 1/2 hours later at most. Did I mention that I was hot? Well, I was. Usually during this part of the day I am either at the internet place in air conditioning or I´m alone in the apartment laying in front of the fan.

Then Wil and his mom served the food that she had prepared. Meal #2 for the boys. It is probably about 3:45 at this point. I´m not sure what all of the food prep and eating so close together when I was going to be cooking dinner later was all about, but whatever. So, Wil put 4 cups of cooked moro on my plate. At this point, I was hot, and not only in temperature. I had asked for less, but he just kept loading it up. I didn´t want to be rude and not eat his mom´s cooking. So, I am sitting there, overheated, trying to plan out how I was going to bake the cake and then cook the meal. The last thing I wanted was to eat 4 cups of hot food and be full when I was going to be cooking. As I was eating the rice, I looked at Wil and said in English, "if you ever serve me this much food again, you will get it back in your face. " Granted, not my finest moment, but I was not loving this whole scenario. I think he finally got it. We had talked on the way to the grocery store about the surprise of them getting there early and me not feeling prepared. He kept saying that I worry too much and that they don´t care about that stuff. I told him that I care about that stuff.

I think we had reached the tipping point then. After that, things went better. We played a game of SORRY with his brothers while his mom cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes.
Then I baked the cake in the oven that we had never used. I thought the directions would be in Spanish on the box(yes I used a box), so I was shocked when I read 350 degrees. What does that translate to? His mom never bakes. Most people here use their ovens as storage for their pots and pans. I started at 250 c. After it preheated a while, I opened the door and decided it was too hot! I lowered the temperature to like 230 and put the cakes in the oven. I set my alarm for 22 minutes later, though the box said it could take 35.40 minutes. When I checked them at 22 minutes, they were done, and thankfully not burnt.
Wil´s youngest brother (age 9) Yolffi (pronounced Joelfi, yes very similar to Joelfre when they say it), Yunedy (age 13, pronounce Joonaedy), and Wil´s mom, Maritza.
Sometime around the time of the cake baking, Wil´s other two brothers arrived at the apartment. Everyone was quite excited about the cake, especially when I started frosting it. Above is Michael, age 19. He has been my guide and translator on the days when I have been to visit Wil´s family without Wil. Michael is almost always smiling, singing or humming, and ready to play a game of Dominos.
Fernando, age 25. He is even smaller than Wil! I have yet to see it, but Fernando is apparently a comedien and performer. They call him Ricky Martin because he is a performer in their family.
Endry, age 17. He is a sweet observant guy. He is the technology person in the family. Endry is interesting socially; he was raised at his aunt´s house here in the capital for most of his life, so sometimes he seems like an only child in a lot of ways.
By the time Wil (yes, Wil was very helpful in doing whatever I asked after the tipping point) and I served dinner at 6:30, some of the family wasn´t very hungry. I served pork with barbeque sauce, mashed potatoes, and green beans. They all did their best, and Michael was sure to point out that he even ate some of the green beans, which no one else did, so he should definitely get dessert. Everyone got dessert, of course! It turned out to be a fun day and evening with Wilman´s mom and brothers. His aunt wasn´t able to make it afterall since she didn´t want to be jostled in the cars and buses to get to our apartment. Another time!

Scenario #3 Being so strong in most aspects of life, but being a whiney baby when they get a cold.

I have heard that a lot of men are like this, but seriously? It´s called the common cold people. You aren´t going to die. Wil woke up on Sunday with a sore throat and the beginnings of a runny nose. That night and the next few, I greased him up with mentholatum, just like mom did with all of us. He is fine now, I think we have passed the whiney times, until the next cold!

I love you Wil! I love you Dad!