A Somewhat Weird Weekend with Wil, Welks, and the Uncool Kenny!

"I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.
Parenthood (1989)



We had an interesting weekend; sometimes I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. I enjoy roller coasters, so I'm trying to just take each sway and dip as they come.

Wil got home on Friday afternoon. He was here for a few minutes, then was off to do some job stuff. While he was gone, I went to the store and purchased some things he had requested to cook. When he came back in the evening, he had a raging headache. Wil usually refuses ibuprofen. That night he gladly took some, so I knew his head was pretty bad. I also made him some coffee and he tried to rest. He slept for a couple of hours. About 10 Wil woke up and wanted to cook. His head felt better. He made some delicious moro and pork with berenjena (eggplant). He really is one of the best Dominican cooks ever.

On Saturday morning, Wil got up to do laundry and clean. He loves to do both of those things! Late in the afternoon, his host parents from Oregon, Welks and Kenny came over with her sister, brother-in-law and niece. Welks is from the D.R. so she returns most years to visit. Kenny is from Oregon.


Here is another guy named Kenny. He is a cool country singer named Kenny Rogers (we saw him in concert in Missoula in the 80's). Even with total facial surgery that has left him a bit of a caricature, he is still cooler than our Kenny.

I should mention that about a week and a half before this I had received a call on the house phone. I answered it. It was Kenny. Though we had met a few times in Portland, he has a total denial of those memories and meetings. To me it is hilarious, and I liked reminding him that we've met before. Anyway, back to Saturday...

The guests stayed for about 4 hours. It was a nice visit. Wil cooked some fried plantains and eggs for the group. Everyone enjoyed visiting. I happened to be wearing an Obama tee shirt. Wil's host parents are ultra crazy right wing or beyond, especially Kenny. And since he is living in the world of, "I don't remember Joel, I don't remember not liking Joel, I don't remember telling Wil that Joel is a bad person" then he had all kinds of questions for me at the apartment. I'm going to call them Kennyisms.


Here is another guy named Kenny. His name is Kenny G (I saw him in concert at the Gorge in 1990). Yes, even a long haired soprano saxophone player is way cooler than our ethnocentric, homophobic Kenny.

Kenny surprised me at times. He has been hosting students through the CASS program for the last 14 years. He has made trips to the Caribbean and Central America every year since that time. He has been married to a Spanish speaking Dominican for 7 years. And, he might speak a little bit better than me, but he understands the same amount or less. So, since I was another English speaker, he latched on to me. And, even with all of these trips and interactions with other cultures, Kenny is not really what I would call, "culturally sensitive."

Some Kennyisms:

As Kenny was looking at some photo coasters on our coffee table, "who is this Asian woman in these photos?" I responded that she is one of my best friends.

As Kenny looked at a different coaster of another friend in her wedding dress, "and is this your sister or your girlfriend?" (I'm thinking, are we really going to play the, "is this your girlfriend?" game. I responded that she was another close friend at her wedding. Kenny, "Oh a---noth--er friend." Whatever!

As Kenny noticed a closing plastic canister with sugar, "did you bring the canisters from Oregon?" I responded that we had purchased them here. He was so surprised since they have those in Oregon.

It pretty much went like that. Good times. And, the guy is like 6'4" or 6'5" so I was not impressed when he kept standing in front of the window where the breeze comes through when the electricity (fan) is off. But I digress.

When they were leaving, "it was nice to meet you." I'm like, yeah, you too! Seeing as the first time that I met you was at your home more than two years ago, freak!

Since we had only been able to spend a few hours with them (I'm being facetious), we also ended up going to the movie that night with them. They arrived 40 minutes earlier than planned to pick us up. We were at the theatre more than an hour early for the movie. The mall hallways are not air conditioned. Welks and Kenny were hot. Eventually we made it in to a seating area inside the theatre where there was A/C.

Kennyisms that night:

Kenny,"well, last December we didn't get to go to Central America. Welks was working at the school district so she only got 2 weeks of vacation, and you really can't do a trip in two weeks, you have to have at least three." This is when I realized how much money Kenny uses to travel each year. I should point out that although that sentence sounds like it should come from a pretentious voice, Kenny's is the opposite. Though he is from Oregon, when he speaks, his voice has a bit of a Southern accent.

Before the movie, sitting in the theatre when something came up about going to Central America in December of this year. Kenny, "well, that's the plan. But you never know. With the way our country is now, if the whole economy fails before then, you just don't know. I mean, I think about our country being in debt like 14 trillion dollars or whatever it is. And, I think about if an individual person was in debt, even a million dollars, how would they ever get out of it. So, if our money becomes worthless, what will happen?" I responded, "well, I think it's more complicated than that. It's really difficult to compare a single person's debt with the debt of a nation." And just then the previews started and I said a silent thank you!!!

After the movie that Welks chose (Date Night), Kenny, "that was a stupid movie. That was a girls' movie." He is 44, not 17, by the way.

Once we finally made it to the deserted (except for us and like 4 other vehicles) parking garage and the exit signs all said to go up. "This is very strange, very weird. I've never seen anything like this in Oregon." I responded, "yeah, sometimes you have to go to the top of a parking garage to get to the bottom to exit." But still at each floor where there was another sign, Kenny, "strange, very rare, very rare." We did eventually get out of the parking garage and get to our apartment.

Sunday, Welks was hosting a barbeque at her sister's house here in Santo Domingo. Wil and I had lunch and then were getting ready for the barbeque. He called a taxi. Communication is something that we are constantly working at in our relationship. I asked,"oh, we're going in a cab." He responded,"you are going in a taxi. I'm going to help my mom do something. Then I'm coming to the barbeque later." I was not happy with this. Again, he made plans without telling me. The taxi dropped me off. I went to the door, it was the wrong place. And that's when I saw the taxi turn the corner at the end of the block. Usually I have taxis wait, but I was frustrated and not thinking. I called Wil and read him the riot act. He called Kenny and they came to get me in a few minutes. Then it was just me with Kenny, Welks and her family. Of course none of the other CASS students were "on time." Talk about awkward!

One by one, other students showed up. I knew some of them. Edual was there and really nice. But as more students arrived, the conversations shifted to Spanish. Kenny migrated near me. And, let the games begin...


And, here is the coolest Kenny of all. Yes, an animated character who has been killed hundreds of times is still so much cooler than our Kenny.


Halloween 2008, when I pretended to be the coolest Kenny!!

Kennyisms at the barbeque:

After saying something disparaging about his in-laws. Then, "As a Christian, I believe God has a plan for these poor countries." It was so difficult to sit through. I responded with, "well, I don't know about that, but I find that people in developing nations are so resilient. They are survivors." I am so glad we were not at Wil's family's house, where the conditions are way different than where we were. If he started talking smack like that there, it would have been on like Donkey Kong.

Then Kenny talked about his in-laws bad parenting, blah, blah, blah. They seemed just like most parents to me, trying to do their best but not being consistent.

And, Kenny, "so what do you think of Obama. Are you disappointed in him? the only reason I ask is that I saw your shirt yesterday." I responded that I am not disappointed in him. And, that it is really too simplified to blame just one person, even the president. And, that I was really excited about health care passing and that Wall Street reform is going to pass this week. "Well, I'm not a fan of the health care, since it will never be paid for. And, if our money becomes toilet paper, I'm just really concerned."

"I'm a Ron Paul fan. You should be too, he's more for people's rights than Obama." Okay, don't tell me who I should be a fan of, crazy man from Oregon. I didn't say that...

"So, how did you get involved with this CASS group? Do you know a lot of them?" I responded that I just knew Wil really, and have met some of the others. "Well, yeah, I didn't really ever see you in Oregon, but it seems like you drove a BMW or something like that." BUSTED!! You didn't see me, but you remember what kind of car I drove, I yell, "liar!" Again I digress...

"How did you and Wil meet?" Here we go. I told him that we met in a hip hop dance class. "HIP HOP class? I don't remember Wil ever taking a hip hop class?" Sounds like you don't remember a lot of things, bud.

I don't really remember many other Kennyisms from that day. More people arrived and we were no longer next to each other (more silent thank yous). The conversation moved to almost entirely Spanish so I just zoned out some of the time. 5 hours of only getting bits and pieces is quite a while.

Wil ended up feeling so guilty and upset for sending me alone and then me not getting to the right spot that he slept for a little while and then joined us at the barbeque. He didn't make it to his mom's house.

Though I didn't have pica pollo that day, the food at the barbeque was delicious. They made kabobs with sausages, pork, and vegetables. They also served barbequed chicken. Yum!

We were there so late (about 9 p.m.) that Edual asked if he could come with us to our apartment to spend the night. He lives further out and the transportation is difficult on Sunday nights. Awkward moment again...of course I didn't say, "no way, go home!" But, that is what I was thinking.




Wil and I had planned to go to a street concert celebrating the anniversary of Telemicro in the D.R. Telemicro is a TV channel. Edual thought it sounded good too. We went to the concert. It was the biggest "street dance" I've ever attended. We worked our way up about halfway to the stage. We could see well, and it was actually a fairly cool(temperature) spot. There were thousands of people there to enjoy the concert. It turned out to be really fun. We saw Elvis Crespo and some other musicians. There was a lot of dancing going on around us.



On stage, the female back-up dancers were barely covered, while the male back-up dancers were in long-sleeved shirts and jeans. What's up with that? It just shows that straight women and gay men still don't have much influence in staging concerts here, wah, wah!

Since there was no gate or entrance fee, anyone could be a vendor. There are people walking, riding bicycles, or being pulled behind horses on the streets here everyday selling everything from produce, to cell phone cards, to ice cream treats. At the concert the sellers were walking through the crowds with bottled water, fifths of rum in a 3 gallon bucket, candy, and cheese (fresh cheese is often sold by the street vendors).

The concert ended a little after midnight. We made our way home. Edual used the internet and then headed to bed. We did the same. Finally, we were able to talk about the day. We talked about sharing plans and not pulling surprises. And we talked about houseguests sleeping over. Since we only have 6 or so nights left this time, we have a plan for those nights. We will send them home in a cab that we pay for if it comes up again.

This weekend is Ho's wedding. She changed the date from Sunday, my birthday (I do accept all gifts gladly), to Saturday. So, I'm excited that Sunday we should be able to do what we (I) want. And, that night we are going out dancing. Friday night, Ho's fiance (Wil's good friend), arrives from Mexico. We are taking him out for a bachelor party and then he (and probably Edual) is staying with us. Saturday is the big day. I'm in charge of appetizers, I believe. Wil is the best man. It should be a good night. And, yes, the uncool Kenny will be there, too.